To thy known self be true.

peaceful painting, of grassland landscape with mountains and the sea in the background during dawn, minimalistic, serene, two children, girl are running and playing on the grass in the distance, Monet, van Gogh, Ghibli --ar 7:4

Romantic interest and friendships

This is an info guide for romantic interest but I figured it’s similar to for friendships. Friendships are just without commitment, thus easier and more flexible, so none of these are needed.

I am not the easiest person for relationships, mainly because I am: 

1. always busy.
2. intense. One of my key principles is to live intensely. This attitude can also lead me down to intense feelings, which aren’t always positive. They drive and direct me, however, this also means my communication can been very direct and sometimes aggressive.
3. not afraid of conflict. I believe conflicts can be an expression of life and I am learning to use non-violent communication and spiritual speech to use them to connect people and connect to life. However, I need to resolve conflicts right away. This isn’t always intuitive or easy for some people. I am very conscious of parting, which is a key element of life, and I seek to always have the best possible parting.

What I am looking for in relationships (consider this informative but not required for friendships)

- high agency
- high ambition
- no bullshit
- kindness
- love for me + people + world (love for life; this involves dedication, commitment, joy, and more)
- magic (a touch of craziness)
- open mind (low on judgmentalness)
- deep discussions, thoughts, and feelings
- maturity
- courage
- playfulness (I need to see you laugh; it shows me the child inside)
- capacity for intellectual discussions
- curiosity (love for learning - doesn’t need to be everything)
- loyalty
- partnership (you push me and I push you)
- honesty (communicate openly and it will make our both lives’ simpler)

A touch of romance and storytelling doesn’t hurt. :) I love living as if I was in a novel or movie - because it  is the one story that I have agency over.

If this sounds like a lot...

Yes, it is. What do I have to offer? Well, if you have come here, you might have thought that I am kind and cute. I am. I can be funny, quirky, and crazy. Discussions with me can be intellectual and deep. I’m a realist, which also means recognizing that many more things are realistic than people consider possible. I like logic, and I like heart. I love imagination. I am curious and want to learn. There is no field I look down upon - I just need people to be true to their known selves in whatever they practice. I am honest. Sometimes, I talk too much. You can tell me how I make you feel and make a request for me to improve, which I will take by heart. I appreciate open communication.

Similarly to how I live intensely, I love intensely. My commitment and loyalty are deep. I give my best to my relationships. I want you to become the best version of yourself, and the deeper our engagement, the more I will dedicate my love, time, and effort into supporting you with that. However, I am not a coach. The task is still on you. I don’t want to push people beyond what they are comfortable of doing. 

Likewise, I am working hard on myself and I want to become the best version of myself. I am open to feedback and flexible to change, if I consider it wise. I need you to be honest for that. Conflicts and disagreements are part of life, and I believe there is no conflict in which we can’t grow compassionate towards each other. It is easier if you have high agency and high ambition, so we can enter a positive feedback loop of committing to growing each other.

I have magic. I will share my joy, passion, and love for the world with you. I won’t hold back. I can find beauty in mundane things, and they drive and inspire me. There is craziness in me, like it technically is in everybody, and I do not want to hold back expressing it. Trust me, life can be quite fun this way. I want to use my life well, wisely, and lovingly. The purpose of life is to live. I aim to use what I have been given to give.

My approach to dating & meeting people

I don’t date, at least not until I know you already quite well. If you want to get to know me, we need to become friends first. It’s easier if we work on the same project, share an activity, or live together. I just don’t have much time that I spend outside of these contexts.